https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr-nFVBfgdM&list=PLta2xE-Usvl-ua1eEk9XnDW1ajvBpZ1f1&index=1
Author: o_diana (Page 44 of 61)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnSdDcm4rdA
https://etc.usf.edu/lit2go/175/grimms-fairy-tales/3061/the-twelve-dancing-princesses/
There was a king who had twelve beautiful daughters. They slept intwelve beds all in one room; and when they went to bed, the doors were shut and locked up; but every morning their shoes were found to be quite worn through as if they had been danced in all night; and yet nobody could find out how it happened, or where they had been.
Then the king made it known to all the land, that if any person could discover the secret, and find out where it was that the princesses danced in the night, he should have the one he liked best for his wife, and should be king after his death; but whoever tried and did not succeed, after three days and nights, should be put to death.
A king’s son soon came. He was well entertained, and in the evening was taken to the chamber next to the one where the princesses lay in their twelve beds. There he was to sit and watch where they went to dance; and, in order that nothing might pass without his hearing it, the door of his chamber was left open. But the king’s son soon fell asleep; and when he awoke in the morning he found that the princesses had all been dancing, for the soles of their shoes were full of holes.The same thing happened the second and third night: so the king ordered his head to be cut off. After him came several others; but they had all the same luck, and all lost their lives in the same manner.
Now it chanced that an old soldier, who had been wounded in battle and could fight no longer, passed through the country where this king reigned: and as he was travelling through a wood, he met an old woman, who asked him where he was going. ‘I hardly know where I am going, or what I had better do,’ said the soldier; ‘but I think I should like very well to find out where it is that the princesses dance, and then in time I might be a king.’ ‘Well,’ said the old dame, ‘that is no very hard task: only take care not to drink any of the wine which one of the princesses will bring to you in the evening; and as soon as she leaves you pretend to be fast asleep.’
Then she gave him a cloak, and said, ‘As soon as you put that on you will become invisible, and you will then be able to follow the princesses wherever they go.’ When the soldier heard all this good counsel, he determined to try his luck: so he went to the king, and said he was willing to undertake the task.
He was as well received as the others had been, and the king ordered fine royal robes to be given him; and when the evening came he was led to the outer chamber. Just as he was going to lie down, the eldest of the princesses brought him a cup of wine; but the soldier threw it all away secretly, taking care not to drink a drop. Then he laid himself down on his bed, and in a little while began to snore very loud as if he was fast asleep. When the twelve princesses heard this they laughed heartily; and the eldest said, ‘This fellow too might have done a wiser thing than lose his life in this way!’ Then they rose up and opened their drawers and boxes, and took out all their fine clothes,and dressed themselves at the glass, and skipped about as if they were eager to begin dancing. But the youngest said, ‘I don’t know how it is, while you are so happy I feel very uneasy; I am sure some mischance will befall us.’ ‘You simpleton,’ said the eldest, ‘you are always afraid; have you forgotten how many kings’ sons have already watched in vain? And as for this soldier, even if I had not given him his sleeping draught, he would have slept soundly enough.’
When they were all ready, they went and looked at the soldier; but he snored on, and did not stir hand or foot: so they thought they were quite safe; and the eldest went up to her own bed and clapped her hands, and the bed sank into the floor and a trap-door flew open. The soldier saw them going down through the trap-door one after another, the eldest leading the way; and thinking he had no time to lose, he jumped up, put on the cloak which the old woman had given him, and followed them; but in the middle of the stairs he trod on the gown of the youngest princess, and she cried out to her sisters, ‘All is not right; someone took hold of my gown.’ ‘You silly creature!’ said the eldest, ‘it is nothing but a nail in the wall.’ Then down they all went, and at the bottom they found themselves in a most delightful grove of trees; and the leaves were all of silver, and glittered and sparkled beautifully. The soldier wished to take away some token of the place; so he broke off a little branch, and there came a loudnoise from the tree. Then the youngest daughter said again, ‘I am sure all is not right—did not you hear that noise? That never happened before.’ But the eldest said, ‘It is only our princes, who are shouting for joy at our approach.’
Then they came to another grove of trees, where all the leaves were of gold; and afterwards to a third, where the leaves were all glittering diamonds. And the soldier broke a branch from each; and every time there was a loud noise, which made the youngest sister tremble with fear; but the eldest still said, it was only the princes, who were crying for joy. So they went on till they came to a great lake; and at the side of the lake there lay twelve little boats with twelve handsome princes in them, who seemed to be waiting there for the princesses.
One of the princesses went into each boat, and the soldier stepped into the same boat with the youngest. As they were rowing over the lake, the prince who was in the boat with the youngest princess and the soldier said, ‘I do not know why it is, but though I am rowing with all my might we do not get on so fast as usual, and I am quite tired: the boat seems very heavy today.’ ‘It is only the heat of the weather,’ said the princess: ‘I feel it very warm too.’
On the other side of the lake stood a fine illuminated castle, from which came the merry music of horns and trumpets. There they all landed, and went into the castle, and each prince danced with his princess; and the soldier, who was all the time invisible, danced with them too; and when any of the princesses had a cup of wine set by her, he drank it all up, so that when she put the cup to her mouth it was empty. At this, too, the youngest sister was terribly frightened, but the eldest always silenced her. They danced on till three o’clock in the morning, and then all their shoes were worn out, so that they were obliged to leave off. The princes rowed them back again over the lake (but this time the soldier placed himself in the boat with the eldest princess); and on the opposite shore they took leave of each other, the princesses promising to come again the next night.
When they came to the stairs, the soldier ran on before the princesses, and laid himself down; and as the twelve sisters slowly came up very much tired, they heard him snoring in his bed; so they said, ‘Now all is quite safe’; then they undressed themselves, put away their fine clothes, pulled off their shoes, and went to bed. In the morning the soldier said nothing about what had happened, but determined to see more of this strange adventure, and went again the second and third night; and every thing happened just as before; the princesses danced each time till their shoes were worn to pieces, and then returned home. However, on the third night the soldier carried away one of the golden cups as a token of where he had been.
As soon as the time came when he was to declare the secret, he was taken before the king with the three branches and the golden cup; and the twelve princesses stood listening behind the door to hear what he would say. And when the king asked him. ‘Where do my twelve daughters dance at night?’ he answered, ‘With twelve princes in a castle underground.’ And then he told the king all that had happened, and showed him the three branches and the golden cup which he had brought with him. Then the king called for the princesses, and asked them whether what the soldier said was true: and when they saw that they were discovered, and that it was of no use to deny what had happened, they confessed it all. And the king asked the soldier which of them he would choose for his wife; and he answered, ‘I am not very young, so I will have the eldest.’—And they were married that very day, and the soldier was chosen to be the king’s heir.
20. Bob Is Looking for a New Job – Level 3
https://www.jokesinlevels.com/bob-job-level-3/
Bob Smith wasn’t happy about his job and decided to find a new job somewhere else. They always told him “NO“ when he asked for a job. It was because people knew him as someone who didn’t like working at all. He had a very bad reputation. One day the phone rang at his office. Bob did not usually pick up the phone but this time he did.
“Hi,“ said the man on the line, “I have an unusual question to ask you. I need some information about Bob Smith. He is applying for a position in our company. Do you know him?“
„Sure, I know him,“ responded Bob with a smile.
“Tell me,“ asked the man, “is he a hard-working person? Does he always come to work on time?“
“Well, I’ll be honest,“ Bob replied, “ I’m not such a hard-working man, but whenever I’m here Bob is here!“
19. Teenagers and Cats
http://www.jokesinlevels.com/teenagers-cats-l-2/
If you have a teenager, you might find some similarities between them and cats. For example:
1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
2. No matter what you do for them, they look happy just a little bit. Or sometimes there is no reaction at all.
3. You almost never see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
4. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living room sofa for hours without moving.
5. Cats and teenagers keep coming home when they want.
6. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers behave as if they did.
18. Time for another 10,000 push-ups!
A man died and went straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms that he could choose from in which to spend eternity.
The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn’t breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on.
The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn’t want that room, and they moved on.
The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The man looked for a while and then told the devil that this room would be all right.
The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, drank his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, “Break time is over! Time for another 10,000 push-ups!”
17. My Wife Can’t Hear! – Level 2
http://www.jokesinlevels.com/wife-cant-hear-level-2/
An old man goes to the doctor. He complains that his wife can’t hear.
“You need to test your wife. Stand far behind her and ask her a question. Then, start going closer to her. You will see how close you’ll get when she hears you.”
The old man is happy that he can help his wife. He runs home. He sees that his wife is making dinner.
“Honey!” the man says standing 20 feet away.
“What are we having for dinner?” he asks.
The wife doesn’t reply. The man tries again. He stands 15 feet away, but there is no answer. He stands 10 feet away and asks again. No answer.
Finally, he is 5 feet away, “Honey, what are we having for dinner?”
“I’ve told you four times! Lasagne!”
Her daughter replied, “Better than that, four of them recognised it!”
A man has a big garden around his house. An old dog comes to his garden. The dog looks at the man and then lies down next to him.
When the man stands up and walks to the house, the dog walks behind him. When they are inside, the dog jumps on the sofa, closes his eyes and sleeps for one hour. Then he wakes up and walks to the door. The man lets the dog out.
The next day the dog comes again. He jumps on the sofa and sleeps for an hour. This is happening every day for three weeks. The man wants to know why the dog comes to his house. He writes on a piece of paper these words, “Every afternoon your dog comes to my house and sleeps for one hour on my sofa.” Then the man puts this piece of paper on his collar.
The next day the dog comes with a different piece of paper on his collar. It says, “He lives in a home with four children. He needs some quite place to relax. Can I come with him tomorrow?”
14. Vacuum Cleaner Salesman – Level 3
http://www.jokesinlevels.com/vacuum-cleaner-salesman-l3/
“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”
“Go away!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money!” and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man put his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. “Please let me in!” he said, “And see my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
“If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, madam, I will personally eat the remainder.”
The old lady stepped back and said, “Well I hope you’ve got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.”
13. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/millionaire-l3/
Millionaire – Level 3
If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would get only the $32,000 milestone money.
As she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question wasn’t easy. It was: Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it
A) the condor;
B) the pelican;
C) the cuckoo; or
D) the vulture?
The woman was lost. She did not know the answer. And she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and the woman had hoped that she would not have to use it because the only friend that she knew would be home happened to be a blonde. But the contestant had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.
The blonde responded quickly, “That’s easy. The answer is C: The cuckoo.”
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, it would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand, the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certainty, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded. “I need an answer,” said the host. Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, “C: The cuckoo.”
“Is that your final answer?” asked the host. “Yes, that is my final answer.”
Two seconds later, the host said, “I regret to inform you that the answer is… absolutely correct.
You are now a millionaire!”
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars. “Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you,” said the contestant. “Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a millionaire. And do you want to know something? It was your certainty with which you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. By the way, how did you happen to know the right answer?”
“Oh, come on!” said the blonde. “Everybody knows that cuckoos don’t build nests. They live in clocks.”
12. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/beautiful-wife-l3/
Beautiful Wife – Level 3
Bob replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!”
They are knocked over, but continue to ask.
“So, how did you persuade her to marry you?”
“I lied about my age,” Bob replies.
“Did you tell her you were only 50?”
Bob smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 90.”
11. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/knives-l-3/
Knives – Level 3
When he looks inside the car, he is shocked. The car is full of big knives.
“What are those big knives doing in your car?” asks the policeman.
“I play with them in a circus.”
“Oh, really?” says the policeman, who doesn’t believe him. “Let’s see how you do it.”
The man gets out and starts throwing and catching the knives. Another man, who is driving around, stops to watch the situation.
“Wow,” says this man. “I’m glad that I stopped drinking before driving. Look at the tests which they’re giving now!”
10. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/policeman-l-1/
One night a policeman is waiting in his car near a very busy bar. At 1 am, he can see a man who is walking out of the bar. The man goes slowly. He looks very drunk. He tries his key in five different cars. Then he finds his car. He sits in the front seat and he tries to start the car with his keys for 10 minutes. Everybody from the bar goes home. When he starts his car, he begins to drive.
The policeman is waiting for him. He stops the driver. Then he does the test for alcohol. The test shows 0.0. The policeman doesn’t understand. He wants to know how it is possible. The driver says, “Tonight, I’m playing the drunk man.”
9. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/good-driver-l-2/
Good Driver – Level 2
“No problem at all. I just saw your safe driving and I’m pleased to award you with a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations! What do you think you’ll do with this money?”
The guy thought for a minute and said, “Well, I guess I’ll go get that driver’s license.”
The lady who was sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, “Oh, don’t pay attention to him. He tries to be funny when he’s drunk.”
The guy from the back seat said, “I told you guys we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car!”
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, “Are we over the border yet?”
8. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/fisherman-snake-l-2/
Fisherman and Snake – Level 2
A few hours later, the fisherman was about to head home, when he felt something touching his leg. He looked down and was amazed to see the same water snake with 2 frogs in its mouth.
Put the verbs in order: 1) felt 2) put 3) moved away 4) removed 5) bite 6) to head 7) saw 8) poured 9) feared 10) knew 11) was amazed 12) grabbed
Hint: sawknewgrabbedremovedputfearedbitepouredmovedawaytoheadfeltwasamazed
7.http://www.jokesinlevels.com/punishment-l3/
Punishment
A student is talking to his teacher.
The student says, “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?”
The teacher replies, “Of course not!”
The student says, “Good, because I haven’t done my homework.”
6. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/texan-farmer-level-3/
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Australian farmer and gets talking. The Australian shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Australian shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have cattle that are at least twice as large as your cows.” The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, “And what are those?” The Australian replies, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”
5. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/dog-and-cat-level-3/
Dog and Cat – Level 3
A dog thinks, “Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, stroke me, and take good care of me. They must be gods!”
A cat thinks, “Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, stroke me, and take good care of me. I must be a god!”
4. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/ten-children-level-3/
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife,
“Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all away. But, I must know, does he have a different father?”
The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for a moment and then confessed. “Yes. Yes, he does.”
The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks,
“Who? Who is he? Who is the father?”
Again, the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as if she didn’t want to tell the truth to her husband.
Then, finally, she says, “You.”
3. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/monk-level-1/
Monk – Level 1
The head monk says,
“You must be quiet all the time. You can say only two words every three years.”
The man says OK. After the first 3 years, the head monk comes to him and says,
“What are your two words?”
“Food cold!” the man says.
Three more years go by and the head monk comes to him and says,
“What are your two words?”
“Clothes dirty!” the man shouts.
Three more years go by and the head monk comes to him and says,
“What are your two words?”
“I finish!” says the man.
“Well,” the head monk says, “It is logical and I understand. All your time in here, you speak only about problems!”
2. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/people-ignore-level-1/
People Ignore Me – Level 1
A patient walks into a doctor’s office.
“Doctor, people ignore me.”
“Next!”
1. http://www.jokesinlevels.com/category/level-2/
A photographer wants to take pictures of a forest fire. A small plane waits for him at the airport. The plane will fly him over the fire. The photographer comes to the airport only an hour before sunset. A small airplane is waiting there. He jumps in with his camera and shouts, “Go!”
The nervous man who is sitting in the pilot’s cabin starts the plane. Soon they’re in the air. There is a strong wind and the plane is making strange moves.
“Fly over the north side of the fire,” says the photographer, “And go very low.”
“Why?” asks the nervous pilot.
“Because I will take pictures!” shouts the photographer. “I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!”
The pilot says, “You are not the flight instructor?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhwHgzz_nAY
Cat Festival in Tokyo – level 1
This news is from Tokyo. A cat festival happens there. People dress up as cats. They paint their faces, wear masks, and put on cat ears. They parade through the streets.
A Japanese designer organises this festival. The festival celebrates three things – Halloween, autumn, and cats. The festival is a hit. People look very good.
The Japanese love cats. They have cat cafés and Hello Kitty. People love homeless cats, too.
Difficult words: parade (when people move slowly down a street to honour something), celebrate (show that you like something by having a good time).
Read more: http://www.newsinlevels.com/products/cat-festival-in-tokyo-level-1/
Cat Festival in Tokyo – level 2
A cat festival happened in Tokyo in an area which is famous for its love of cats. People painted their faces, wore masks, or just put on cat ears, and paraded through the streets.
A Japanese designer organised the festival. She said that she wanted to celebrate Halloween, autumn and cats all in one parade. The festival was a hit. People put a lot of work into their costumes.
Japan is a country that loves cats. It introduced cat cafés and Hello Kitty to the world. There’s even enough love for stray cats in Tokyo.
Difficult words: parade (when people move slowly down a street to honour something), costume (a set of clothes which look like something special), stray (homeless).
Read more: http://www.newsinlevels.com/products/cat-festival-in-tokyo-level-2/
Cat Festival in Tokyo – level 3
The annual ghostly cat festival happened in Tokyo. Locals painted their faces, wore masks, or just popped on some cat ears to parade through an area famed for its love of cats. Japanese designer Okameya Yuko organised the festival and said that she wanted to celebrate Halloween, autumn and cats all in one parade. It seems that it was a hit, with one participant saying that it was amazing and impressive because people put a lot of work into their cosplays. Japan is a country that loves cats – it introduced cat cafés and Hello Kitty to the world. There’s even enough love for stray cats in Tokyo, which are a common sight. A person could say that Japan is a pretty pawsome place.
Difficult words: annual (happening every year), ghostly (mysterious, magical), cosplay (the word for “costume” from the Japanese language), stray (homeless), pawsome (this is a mix of two words: “paw” and “awesome”).
http://www.newsinlevels.com/products/cat-festival-in-tokyo-level-3/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGhedaRGv6c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGhedaRGv6c
http://www.ef.com/english-resources/english-grammar/type-2-conditional/
FORM
In a Type 2 conditional sentence, the tense in the ‘if’ clause is the simple past, and the tense in the main clause is the present conditional or the present continuous conditional.
| If clause (condition) | Main clause (result) |
|---|---|
| If + simple past | present conditional or present continuous conditional |
| If this thing happened | that thing would happen. |
As in all conditional sentences, the order of the clauses is not fixed. You may have to rearrange the pronouns and adjust punctuation when you change the order of the clauses, but the meaning is identical.
EXAMPLES
- If it rained, you would get wet.
- You would get wet if it rained.
- If you went to bed earlier you wouldn’t be so tired.
- You wouldn’t be so tired if you went to bed earlier.
- If she fell, she would hurt herself.
- She would hurt herself if she fell.
FUNCTION
The type 2 conditional refers to an unlikely or hypothetical condition and its probable result. These sentences are not based on the actual situation. In type 2 conditional sentences, the time is now or any time and the situation is hypothetical.
EXAMPLES
- If the weather wasn’t so bad, we would go to the park. (But the weather is bad so we can’t go.)
- If I was the Queen of England, I would give everyone a chicken. (But I am not the Queen.)
- If you really loved me, you would buy me a diamond ring.
- If I knew where she lived, I would go and see her.
It is correct, and very common, to say “if I were” instead of “if I was” (subjunctive mood).
EXAMPLES
- If I were taller, I would buy this dress.
- If I were 20, I would travel the world.
- If I were you, I would give up smoking.
- If I were a plant, I would love the rain.
In type 2 conditional sentences, you can also use modals in the main clause instead of “would” to express the degree of certainty, permission, or a recommendation about the outcome.
EXAMPLES
- We might buy a larger house if we had more money
- He could go to the concert if you gave him your ticket.
- If he called me, I couldn’t hear.
THE PRESENT CONDITIONAL TENSE
The present conditional of any verb is composed of two elements:
would + the infinitive of the main verb, without “to”
| Subject | + would | + infinitive |
|---|---|---|
| He | would | go |
| They | would | stay |
TO GO: PRESENT CONDITIONAL
| Affirmative | Negative | Interrogative | Interrogative Negative |
|---|---|---|---|
| I would go | I wouldn’t go | Would I go? | Wouldn’t I go? |
| You would go | You wouldn’t go | Would you go? | Wouldn’t you go? |
| He would go | He wouldn’t go | Would he go? | Wouldn’t he go? |
| She would go | She wouldn’t go | Would she go? | Wouldn’t she go? |
| We would go | We wouldn’t go | Would we go? | Wouldn’t we go? |
| They would go | They wouldn’t go | Would they go? | Wouldn’t they go?
|
I am purple, yellow, red,
and green.
The King cannot reach me and neither can the Queen.
I show my colours after the rain,
And only when the sun comes out again.
